crazy?

a week from yesterday (on the 15th) will be the 5 year anniversary of my rape. for those of you who don't know, the same year, i was also pregnant and terminated the pregnancy. anyway, while i was in california on vacation last weekend, we visited a friend of my bf's who just had a baby. that brought up issues for me, as i still have strong emotions when it comes to seeing small babies etc. anyway, last night i had sex (not that you want to know) but in my mind it suddenly popped up "you just got pregnant." now, i know you don't immediately get pregnant or anything. it takes a few days for those little guys to find their way around. i am on birth control, but i'm also on a strong antibiotic and we didn't use a condom. i know i'm probably just feeling emotions from the past and making things up in my head. would someone please just tell me i'm not pregnant? thanks.

ok, so here's a big rant i wrote on my website. go read it and respond here if you will!