expecting it or not...a response to Erin.

first of all...this is my first post here. my name is nicolle...i'm 22 years old, i live in chicago, and i'm taking a nice year off before law school (so i probably won't have a lot of career-type insight here.)

anyway, i don't think you can plan to "least expect it", especially if you think you want a relationship at all. it's really the right thing to do to throw yourself into everything else... i guess i was in kind of a different situation...in may of 2003, when i was 20, i broke up with a guy because he was thinking long-term commitment, while i was still in college and had a hard enough time thinking ahead to the next week. over the next year or so, i swore i'd not fall in love until i was old and grey...that i was going to keep to flings with whoever i wanted, whenever i wanted. i went to concerts all the time, finished college, and spent tons of time doing mock trial (although i was technically a political science major, i practically majored in mock trial, and most of my friends do it too). anyway, i guess i didn't "least expect it"...but more just didn't want it.

then, last april, sparks flew, and i got together with a guy i met on another mock trial team. i went from single and vehement, to taken--and in a long-distance relationship to boot. we're still together, although sadly still long distance. he is just right for me. i can talk to him on the phone for hours and hours. i feel home when i'm with him. and, i don't have the urge to pick up and sleep with that hot girl at the bar, or that hot guy at the baseball game, like i did when i was single, or even near the end of my previous relationship (or during my failed attempt to date again a few months before, in december of 2003).

i guess, my point is...meeting someone special is something it's okay to hope for, but it's not something you can plan for. both of the serious significant others i've ever had i've met through mock trial...so just being involved in stuff you're interested in is a good plan. it's not a guarantee...but nothing is.