Tuesday, May 24, 2005

random stuff

...wow, i've just been busy recently. this whole working two jobs thing is driving me nuts, but i have to do it for another two months. two more months, and i get to move to saint louis. between now and then, though...i have to work work work, move to my summer sublet on june 14th, find an apartment in saint louis, and find a roommate (it looks like my boyfriend and i are not in fact going to be living together right off the bat, which is probably a good thing if only to have some sort of transitional phase where we just live in the same city).

this past weekend i finally got to see my boyfriend for the first time since early april...my mock trial team had a cocktail party on friday night, so he came in friday through sunday for the cocktail and assorted hanging out with me. it was so nice to spend two days with him...especially since the last time we saw each other was at the mock trial national championship, and although we got to see each other some, i had to coach and do stuff with my team, and he had to coach and do stuff with his.

i wish i had had time last week to do an entry to address the talk about weight and stuff... as for me, i've always been a big girl...i've been a size 14/16 since i was in middle school, and i still am. there was one time when i was 13 (i'm now 22) that i starved myself and worked out obsessively and starved myself some more and made it all the way down to a size 12 in about three months...but i decided that i hated doing that. i got made fun of a lot in elementary school and middle school, of course, as is the lot of every fat kid...sometimes it bothered me then, but as i got older, i started to not care at all. i didn't date much at all in high school...but once i got to college, i gained a lot of confidence...and i've never had any trouble at all attracting people on account of my size...or on account of anything else, really. in short...i don't think i'd give my body size up for anything...i like being curvy, i have a nice set of breasts and hips that are proportional to my waist, and i'm very much like the body type of the kind of women i'm attracted to.

i really don't think of my size as either an issue or a non-issue...it is definitely part of who i am in the sense that it probably plays a part in my (hackneyed?) annoyance that fashion magazines and movies and tv shows are devoid of women over a size six or so...but in the things that actually matter to me, the only thing about my body size that i really think about on a regular basis is wearing clothes that show off my curves.


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